Mormons and modern polygamists:Dispelling the myths

I ain't got no sista wives!

Whether I am backstage in a theater and overhear that we are dressed in old fashioned dresses and aprons like Mormons, teaching a college course and asked by a student how many wives my husband has, or in between shots on a TV set and told that Mormons marry their daughters off to old men, I have sort of heard it all. I was even asked by a co-worker if I was allowed to dance. I used to be defensive, irritated, and shocked. Now, I am totally amused. With so much technology, news coverage of prominent Mormon figures, and social media at our fingertips, isn't the distinction between my Mormon faith and those other guys pretty darn obvious? But the answer, is of course, that it is not. Sure, a simple Google search would dispel the myths and clear up the misconceptions, but in many ways, news media is perpetuating the problem. The separation of my religion and the specific one I am so often lumped with is not well established in any news presence. Why?

The battle of the term

I am a Mormon. That is my nick name. In my religion, we believe in the Bible, but we also believe in another ancient book that was written by prophets in other parts of the world. Each writer had their own book, and, as with the bible, it was compiled together in the end to become the unified book that it is today. Unlike the Bible, this was done by one man, who we believe to also have been a prophet. His name was Mormon. Hence we call our book the Book of Mormon, and hence our nick name. Our church is actually called The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, making me a Latter Day Saint (LDS). But, that's a mouthful. So the nick name lives on.

Still with me? Cuz this is where it gets tricky. When our church was first restored in 1830, we were a people of monogamy. Our prophet Joseph Smith, according to revelation he said he had received, called a few men to participate in polygamy (roughly 3% of the church's men practiced it). This aspect of my church history is worthy of its own blog post, book, sermon, you name it, but for now, lets move on. In 1890, the prophet at the time, Wilfred Woodruff, declared that polygamy would discontinue. At that time, a group of members did not support this manifesto. They did not believe it was a revelation from God as the prophet claimed, and they split away from the church so that they could continue to practice polygamy. They gave themselves a new name: Fundamental Latter Day Saints (FLDS). Tie in our endearing nick name, and you have Fundamental Mormons. SURE SOUNDS A LOT LIKE OUR NAME. Especially when you drop off that F. We then literally share the exact same title. But, this is nearly the only thing we currently share. Here is our doctrine on this issue, "The Lord’s law of marriage is monogamy unless he commands otherwise to help establish the House of Israel (see Encyclopedia of Mormonism Vol. 3, pp. 1091-1095).

Fundamental Mormons

Fundamental Latter Day Saints (FLDS), or Fundamental Mormons, currently practice polygamy. Now, let me be clear on this. I have no problem with adults making consensual choices, in a state of strong mental health, whose choices involve no neglect or abuse to themselves, their spouses, or their children. Shout out to my sister wives here (err, the ones on the TV show, not my own). I believe in freedom. BUT, the FLDS church has very sadly seen many injustices and abuses. Insert Warren Jeffs and cuss words here. A lot of gnarly and nasty things have taken place by individuals who prescribe to this branch of my faith.

And now....

So where does that leave the Mormons? It leaves us in a place where in many minds, the term Mormon, polygamist, and subsequently, pervert who forces young girls to marry old men, are interchangeable.

Naturally, it is understandable that I am confused with polygamists. When my student asked how many wives my husband had, I wasn't offended. I found it humorous. I responded, "He has three. I am the one that goes out and works." If you could see his face....

My quest here is not to be angry or ugly about it. THE NAMES ARE NEARLY THE SAME. Of course there is confusion! My quest is to stamp out that confusion. To save you the trouble of Googling and digging to figure out that we are far from the same religion, and to just make it easy for you. We are not. We are monogamous. We marry whoever the heck we want. We dress modestly, but in modern clothes (ever heard that Utah is known for having the hottest ladies? Fa real, we got style).

So the next time you hear that someone is a Mormon, think of the Osmond Brothers and Marie, not creepy ol' Jeffs rotting in jail.